It's OK to Put Yourself First Sometimes

I broke down in my dermatologist’s office last week. Tears streaming, mascara running, a true ugly cry. The truth is, I have been battling hair loss which can be upsetting (that is why I was at the dermatologist). But previously that issue had never upset me so much that I cried.

Rest assured, the doctor was very kind about it, but likely unamused as she handed me a tissue.

So why couldn’t I hold it in? I’m not particularly close with my dermatologist. We aren’t friends. But I felt an emotion come up that I was unable to control. So, I ask myself questions to try to understand:

Am I depressed? No, I don’t think so.

Am I being a baby and just need to figure it out? Hell no, I KNOW I have a lot on my plate.

Do I have support? YES.

So then WHY???

First, I should say that I think the answer is different for everyone so for this article, I’m going to speak only to my feelings.

Second, I am NOT a mental health provider, so I have no diagnosis to offer myself. But I imagine that everyone feels this way at some point… like everything is going great but you just can’t help yourself.

Help Yourself…

Help Yourself…

Launching Inspirit is a true passion project. I did not start this company because I wanted to be rich or famous (sidenote – I’m not either of those things). I started this company because I wanted to help. But starting anything new is hard and all-consuming. Add to that a separate full-time job (the mortgage won’t pay itself), two toddlers, a husband with his own business to run, laundry, cooking, housework… the list just keeps going.

I’m not writing this for praise, sympathy, understanding, or pity. I can say that I do NOT put my own needs first by choice.  I consciously choose to put myself last every day when I do not take that 30-minute walk around the block to clear my head, enjoy a cup of tea, and choose to eat buttered noodles instead of a nutrient-rich salad for lunch.

I write this because I think other people can relate. I can’t tell you how to fix it. But I can say that the stress that I created for myself, with no doubt, led to my crocodile tears in the dermatologist’s office.

I can also attest to the fact that it feels damn good when I do get myself to go out on a jog alone or enjoy a moment to myself when the house is quiet. I only hope that these words serve as a reminder for all of us to take some time for ourselves.